Just Bitchin’ About: Grocery Store Checkout
Have you noticed the now new “self scanner checkouts” at the grocery stores? I have, I love them! I get my groceries and walk over to the self scanner to checkout of the store. This thing is too easy. You simply take your item, run it over the infrared light and load up your bags. Even the fresh items, like fruits and vegetables have a code that the machine looks up for you… I love it.. No one to ask you stupid questions,”how’s your day?”. Or, ” Hhhmmmm, I’ve never seen these before. Do you like them?”. Or, my favorite, “wow! You have a ton of stuff…do you have a lot of people coming over?”. The best is to look at the idiot and reply, “nope…those 3 gallons of cookie dough ice cream are for me….and I WILL eat them all while driving home….that’s why I have the plastic spoons!!”. So, you can imagine how much I love being able to checkout of a store without being bothered… That is, of course, until today. Today I was enjoying the sounds of the voices in my head when the guy who is in charge of the self-checkout lanes (you’ve seen him: he’s the one who sits at the front of 2 or 3 self checkout counters watching everyone. He’s the guy who makes the beeping stop when the machine says, “item removed from bagging area.”. He knows to make the noise go away because he WATCHES you! It’s great, it’s a wonderful relationship: you scan, put the item in the bag, if something beeps, he fixes it. Really, I truly love this..no talking, I can think, I can zone out, I can talk on my phone and NOT feel rude, I can come up with great ways to solve the economic crisis. Then, today, the teenager in charge of watching all of us self checkers did the unthinkable: he asked me a question!!!! “So, you must really like these checkout counters, I always see you using them. I thought that since you had so much today” (yes, you heard correctly…since I had SO much today) “I thought you’d go to the regular line. But, you did a great job.”. Many things started to swirl around in my head… I did a great job…is it really THAT hard? I have SO much stuff? Well, I have 3 kids, 2 dogs and I need to lose about 25 pounds. Did he really just talk to me? Do I look like a fucking people person? But, all I did was push my packed cart away and smiled at him. After all, my ice cream was melting.
“Quit your bitchin’…that’s why I’m here”
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