Just Bitchin’ About: Airplane Rides
Sitting on a very small plane this afternoon I was behind a rather large lady. The rows are only 3 across and the seat are pretty bare bones as it is. She decides to lean her chair back during the oh-so-long 55 minute flight. I guess to take a nap, or, possibly to make room for her enormous belly. At any rate, I hate it when people do that.. I especially hate it when they don’t have the common courtesy to turn around and, at the very least, ask you if it’s okay with you. No.. it’s not. My knees are already in my face and now I can’t move to get my People Magazine out of my purse bitch. But, you don’t really care, do you! To make matters worse I had to go to the bathroom… really badly. I had to wait for the small plane to climb to it’s cruising speed before I could unbuckle the rusted seatbelt.. (always wondered why we had these anyways… I mean, if you are going down… aren’t you pretty much screwed? Are we really to believe that the nylon strap and cheap-as-shit metal buckle will keep us safe) So, finally, we were allowed to “roam about the cabin.” Not sure how far we were going to go on the 20 some-odd row plane… but, I was happy to be getting up to at least feel the blood flow in my legs again! I go to the bathroom and, to be honest, it really did not smell very good in there… I know that’s not shocking, but it REALLY DID NOT SMELL VERY GOOD IN THERE!!! I stand up carefully so I don’t accidentally flush my foot down the toilet and put the soap on my hands. All lathered up I turn the water on… no water. I hit the lever again… no water. One more time (because apparently I’m an idiot and thought maybe, just maybe the 3rd time is a charm). Nope, nothing. Then I see 4 individual packets of “hand sanitizer” sitting in a dixie cup near the defunct faucet… Seriously? Can the stewardess (who, by the way, spoke so slowly you wondered how much Xanax she had to take to get on the plane), not post a note so you don’t use the large bottle of soap when there is no working water? It really does not take a genius! Then again, I think she might have been too busy finding the tetanus shot for the people who cut themselves on the seatbelts!
“Quit Your Bitchin’… That’s Why I’m Here”
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